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Lesson 4: Let People Go

In episode five of season 3: Letting People Go, I share the big lesson that I've gained these past two weeks, which is this: "You cannot take the people you want to take on your journey. There are places that you are to go alone." This major lesson I had to gain came with a few minor lessons to go through to bring it all in a full circle, which I will share with you now. 


1) Stop being the one to reach out all the time. Often, you find that you're the one who does it so often that people get used to you doing it that they rarely reach out to you. A scary thought that I had to bring from the back of my mind was that "If I stop, I'll have to face the truth that they won't reach out to me as I do them." And guess what? My thought came true, lol. What this taught me was not to cut them off or never reach out to people again BUT to allow balance back into my life and friendships moving forward. 


It's okay for me not to check up on everyone all the time; I can sit back and chill and do what I need to in my life, and for those who do reach out-, I can put a little more energy into that friendship and reciprocate the point of checking in. Life is about balance. 


2) Re-evaluate some friendships and disconnect from those that you need to. Maaaaaan.... There are some people that you don't want to disconnect from, but when you take a moment to get out of your feelings and re-evaluate if the friendship is healthy or not and you see that it isn't, then let their a*ses go! A few signs to indicate they need to go is this: 


  • They only care about themselves and make excuses when it comes to you
  • After you hang out or talk to them, you feel drained
  • They ALWAYS have problems
  • Your gut is telling you to start distancing yourself from them 


3) Stop looking in the past; look forward, and be present now with the relationships forming in your life. What I mean by this is to stop comparing your new friendships to those friends of your past or in a different location entirely. Stay present and get to know the people in front of you now by asking them questions to get to know them and not asking them questions and comparing their responses and actions to your best friend Keke from 25th LOL 


Be present and ask new questions. Allow yourself and the new friend you're getting to know the opportunity to grow and learn something different. 


4) Walk your path and listen to your intuition; you'll get the answer. Now, I do want to break this down because people have heard this but need to apply it and fully understand what it means. 

"Walking your path" means following that which aligns with you. "Listening to your intuition" means listening to your gut. You can do this by consulting with yourself with Yes or No questions and listening to how your body responds. For some, a No feels like a resistant energy or something wrong. A Yes can feel like something clicks or feels suitable for you. 


"You'll get the answer" is more of a journey you have with yourself by learning how you perceive your Yes and No answers. Some of us get answers while in motion (exercising, walking, riding our bike), and others get answers in solitude (in nature, your safe place, those ten minutes sitting in the car before walking in the house, lol). Learn how you best get answers, and they will all come to you. 


These were the four lessons I had to learn to let people go while walking my journey. I am sure you can benefit from them too. Do remember this: there are places you are called to that you have to walk alone. On your way to those places, you may have to let many people go, including parts of yourself that no longer serve you. But now, you have the knowledge to get where you're going, and that's half the journey there. 


Thank you for reading, 


The Black Konnektor